In Between

I just completed my first year program of Buddhist chaplaincy.  I am in the process of applying for the second year program.  This last year has been a wonderful experience.  During the program I have written poetry and short stories, painted and shared it all in public.  Finding the courage to share more than just surface thoughts and emotions has been transformational.  By doing this self-exploration I will be better able to sit with others who are in pain, suffering, dying, etc.  I must first work on myself and understand myself before I can help anyone else.  So, I move in between...working on understanding myself and moving to understand others.  Learning to be fully present and listening is key to understanding.  Letting go of expectations, the stories we tell ourselves, our history, our "personality"...and really paying attention to what is going on...not what I expect will happen (the mind loves to race ahead so we can plan our responses).
Here's a poem I wrote, "Bearing Witness", that was inspired by sitting with a person who is dying:

Sitting much closer to Death than I had planned,

I take my seat and listen.

Short bursts of words and emotions…heavy silence.

Another burst of words replaying a life of regrets.

She realizes it’s all passing and it won’t slow down

or stop while she fixes her hair.

Regrets and anxiety jockey for position.

Waiting.  Waiting.